(3/31/05, posted by Schultzenblogger) - Check out Paul's Burnbuddys and other such bike pr0n over at Steelman Cycles.

(3/30/05, posted by Schultzenblogger) - Get the Scent Of Christ today, or how to cash in on Jesus. What would he do? Who cares, he's dead.

(3/30/05, posted by Schultzenblogger) - Hey, don't forget to keep in check with one on one bike's 117 blog. That's the good news from Minnesota.

I can hear the Young Repubwackin pot dealers in MN whining about the Medical Cannabis law proposed recently in St. Paul, from all the way over here in Bismarck. "How am I supposed to pay for a new BMW every year if pot is legalized?!" My desire to crush skulls goes up exponentially when some fuck denies a person deserved humanity.

(3/28/05, posted by Schultzentosh) - I wanted to try out the new Yahoo! Creative Commons Search, so I put in the word bicycle and hit return. First thing I found was a recount about an internal struggle at Apple corporation. It turns out the infamous Steve Jobs holds the opinion that personal computers are "bicycles for the mind," so he was going to change the name of Apple's upcoming PC to Bicycle from it's current--in 1981--code name, Macintosh.

Another one of the results landed me at the C.H.U.N.K. 666 LAB where you can study not only the technical science of bicycles, but also social aspects.

(3/27/05, posted by Schultzenbutter) - Silver sent over a shot of the bike pile from the other night. If you could have seen it from the side you would know how it was more of a leaning tower than a pile. TomTom just grabbed it by a couple wheels and the whole thing crashed down. More fun in a few days, see ya then?!?!?

(3/26/05, posted by Schultzenböse) - bike satan has an update about the 2M denim jacket ride to First Ave. Man, it would have been sweet to see C.O.C. I enjoyed the punk rock nursing I got from the Hazard County Girls at First Ave. They were on tour with Hank III & Assjack. First Ave. really is a good place to get down.

P.S. Dakota Cyclery Mountain Bike Adventures just updated their site with a sweet photo gallery.

(3/25/05, posted by Schultzenegger) - Tour de Hurry to the Colonial So Everyone Can Get Really Stoned Ripped and Twisted. Stage twelve may as well have been a ride directly there as everything was on schedule when we suddenly were diverted by panic for time. "We gotta get to the Main!" Okay, it's only 9, but. . . cards? "We gotta get to the Sandbar (so we can maximize our time at the Colonial)." Whoa! Drunk driver tries to take out the tour, if only my grip would detach as a lightsaber. We'll need pistol grip shotguns at least. Eastons, lost, no longer cares for his baby. Tommy crushes a good bike pile, gaining a bit, but still out of touch with 1%. Stephan goes home alone, sad that his bike was thrown into the trash. Since when was the tour nice? After Tommy toppled the pile all bikes went into the dumpster, no mercy. Six bored Mandan Police each in their own full-size Chevy Blazer race by chasing a yearling bovine around like it's some freakin prison escapee. Hit Page hunting for Eastons only to find his lonely Surly. Eastons, why have you forsaken your Surly and le Tour?

(3/24/05, posted by Schultzenwasser) - Why not join us tonight? We're helping bring performance hindering drugs back to cycling.

(3/23/05, posted by Schultzenwasser) - I just saw the Daily Show from Monday. About ten minutes into the show, the attractive and brutally merciless Debbie Wasserman Schultz, a liberal U.S. Congresswoman from FL, throws down the hammer real heavy on the Repubwackins. In the short clip, she discusses a law in Texas Bush and Co. created to limit the use of life support, and how it was used just one week ago on an ailing 6 month old against the mother's wishes. The Repubs. have just called a special session of congress to make a law counter to one which they have on the books in at least one state. . . flossin' and frontin' while making the federal government bigger than fucking ever.

I like Debbie, and Dems. like Gov. Brian Schweitzer of MT. At first you'll think they're Republicans, but then they swing a skull crushing hook from the liberal left. Hey now! I'm seeing a small trend here with some good old kraut surnames. Not so surprising really, look at how liberal the Germanic countries of Europe are.

Down with the hateful fear mongering Republican fucksticks! I'm trying to spread love here, but these wannabe dictators have got to be put down, hard. That's enough of this fucking bullshit, wouldn't you agree? I think we're getting to the point where we're going to have to get crazy. Learn to say no! No to religious fucknuts, no to those such as Dayton who just pay a bunch of money to be senator, and no to Norm Coleman! Wake the fuck up! We need MN to continue to be a bastion of liberalism.

(3/22/05, posted by Schultzencell) - Check out the hydrogen powered ENV motorcycle. Not that I'd advocate throwing away the pedals, but that does look fun and the power cell is a module, so could energize my apartment or boat when I'm not using the motorcycle.

(3/21/05, posted by Schultzenholzfeller) - Win a free iPod from TNT! Yeah sure, you betcha. Most offers you see are bogus, but not this one. Really?!?! No. Okay, check out this SF Chronicle article as nearly all of the offers for free iPods are bullshit.

Yeah they're expensive and can distract you from life completely, but man are they brilliant for road trips. On a 60GB model you could easily store 40 days worth of music. If you're gonna ride with an iPod make sure it doesn't get shaken too much as the freakin' thing might freeze up on ya. The iPod shuffle does away with that problem as it doesn't have a hard disk to trip up, but it'll only store a few days songs.

(3/20/05, posted by Schultzenhammer) - As mentioned recently on CRC, one of the craziest parts about this whole ANWR drilling project is that it could all be made much simpler by working more closely with Canada. This kind of efficiency is bad according to the Power Player Repubwackins and their corporate lobbyist interlopers, who're burning countrysides all over the world in an apparent struggle for a good position in the transition to the information and technology era. When does one draw the line on seizing power?

The Mackenzie Valley leads right up into the heart of our continent from the Beaufort Sea, and is already well established by humans from right next door to ANWR all the way to Winnipeg. That being a short jaunt to our own Grand Forks, sounds to me like our representatives from here in ND and in MN slipped up big time. What better a place to distribute from than the center? Individual Americans strive to keep up appearances in their day to day lives, yet on the world stage today we're collectively looking like a bunch of helpless idiots. An international coalition of psychologists need to get W on their couch so the U.S. can be saved from oblivion.

Are we going to go to war with Canada? Yeah, they're a bit different from us, but mostly the same. I've been there quite a number of times now, and the greatest difference to me is their open sexuality. If a Canadian girl wants you she will not hesitate to ask, nor will she be too proud to wait in line to ask, or be afraid to ask repeatedly. A friend of mine got hit on by a gay who's tactic was to walk up, clumsily knock my friend's beer over and fairily run away, then to deny that he had spilled the drink while trying to seduce my friend into buying drinks and sitting with him at the bar. The Canuks more robust playfulness doesn't mean we shouldn't share an oil pipeline with them, or have open borders for that matter.

(3/19/05, posted by Schultzenflex) - St. Tour de Swill, Eastons trapped at Mini-Mart?!?! Rescued by the Toweliemobile, stage eleven is saved. Uh oh, no time for Corral and nobody home at Main, a very quiet start. Westapharian skipping the Tour to pick up Box at the Cock. A fan of le Tour buys rounds at the Sandbar. Skol! Sail on Pilgrims, pushed to Plymouth Rock by an unusual and strong SE wind. We land in the Western Lands to triumphant cheers! Colonel love. Crowd too thick, must push on to the Page. Into the heavy spring breeze, we experience the essence of life. Topped off with another Shout Out at the Page. Creme de la creme.

(3/16/05, posted by Schultzenheimer) - Check out Hybrid Lighting. I wonder how hot the sunlight collector gets. Makes me think our society is sitting on our hands. Implement change, today!

(Ides of March, posted by Schultzenheimer) - Just noticed that Maverick American has updated their web site with information on the ML8. Nothing on the telescoping seatpost, however. I can't say that isn't a good idea and the ML8 monocoque frame is so formula one.

(3/14/05, posted by Schultzenlight) - I took the Evil Test and came in at the "Evil Light" level. You know, that grey area where everyone except Ned Flanders lives.

(3/13/05, posted by Schultzenheimer) - Forget that wussy genocide bollocks, total annihilation of the earth, that's what I'm talkin' about.

(3/11/05, posted by Schultzenheimer) - Tour de Swillin' and Chillin': stage ten, a spirituous NW wind providing entertainment through the first four stops, thrilling trilling over the old bridge. Fujimoto long hauler setting the pace high, 700s threading needles through the gusts. Folks are out for fun, Silly McWilly Modest Mouse Rock The House. Colonel cocktails and a shorter ride home? An option for some. Great fun means big appetites, hellooooo Denny.

(3/9/05, posted by Schultzenheimer) - Check out the fixed gear gallery. Those looking for a luxury tour bike, Rivendell has their Quickbeam on sale. Hey Towelie, Rivendell has that handlebar I mentioned, it's called the Nitto Albatross.

(3/6/05, posted by Schultzenheimer) - Le Tour de Swill stage nine, back to the matter. Bikes tuned, streets clear, and the air just right for drinking. Towelie swinging a pool cue as if it were a broadsword, who could blame him? Stephanovich, ride in a straight f'ing line or stay in the back, out of the way! The Colonel has been claiming riders lately, taken out by their own hubris. Stubborn determination is the only way to make it through such an entropic experience. Off to the Page, half the numbers but still going strong. Wow! Get there to find nobody about. Our fan base at the Page is slipping.

(3/2/05, posted by Schultzenheimer) - Westapharian's trashy Surly had to be part of TNT's salon des refuses. These are some of TNT's most provocatively prolific and therefor most evil photos.

ride bike from bar to bar in bismarck-mandan. . .
join our thursday night crawl starting around 9 pm at the corral on east main in bismarck

"Everything that elevates an individual above the herd and intimidates the neighbor, is henceforth called evil."
Friedrich Nietzsche